OUTED: THE SECRETS OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS

 

Who are they?

What do they do?

What is their secret?

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Brian Molko

Song and Dance man with musical entourage Placebo

He is gay. Brian Molko may try to put on a tough guy, macho man image, hoping that his well-published bar-fighting and constant womanising make him seem "one-of-the-lads", but who's he trying to fool?

       
 

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Yuri Gargarin

Dead pilot

Was the first man in space. During the credit sequence of Enterprise we see the first (Americans) to fly a plane, the first (Americans) to go into space, the first (Americans) to walk in space etc etc. Where his Yuri all this time? Hiding in the shadows that's what! Who's he trying to fool? He must think we were all born yesterday!

       
 

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Elvis Presley

Inventor of the Pelvis

He's dead. He may think that all he has to do is turn up in Sainsbury's every Thursday buying stewing beef and envelopes and suddenly everyone will think he's still alive and didn't die in 1977, but who's he trying to fool? If he's alive, how come he doesn't do Glastonbury? I rest my case?

       
 

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What do they do?

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Dick Felovagin

Made this website

He is crap at making websites. He uses gaudy colours and Times New Roman and his content is weak. He may think that this website gives him the aura of a dapper International Playboy, but who's he trying to fool? We know he's the guy who steals socks from other people's clothesline

       
 

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David Beckham

Professional Football Player

He's a national icon. He may try to deceive us with his silly voice, drippy haircuts and daft habit of forcing his offspring to go through life labelled with the names of where they were conceived, (it's not too bad for Brooklyn, but when Scholsie's Toilet is at school they'll really go through it). He can try to keep a low profile and try to deflect attention away from that goal against Greece, but who's he trying to fool? He must think we're idiots!

       
 

Who are they?

What do they do?

What is their secret?

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Tony Blair

US diplomat

He is Prime Minister of the UK and leader of the Labour Party. Sure, Tony pretends to acquiesce to the USA whenever asked, and did jack-shit when they reneged on the Kyoto Accord, and yes he's said publicly that low taxes are worth more than a decent NHS, but who's he trying to fool? Secretly he's the leader of the British Government and a rabid socialist. Try telling it in a Post Natal Unit there are people there who actually were born yesterday!